What I Said vs. What I Actually Meant…And Meaning of Facebook Poke

What I said vs. What I actually meant.  There’s always a deeper meaning to words and acronyms.  Stay informed!

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What I said.
LOL

What I actually meant.
I have absolutely nothing to say in response.  What you said is mildly amusing to me.  I want to assure you of our friendship and my response is merely an acknowledgement of your post.

What I said.
Haha or hehe

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What I actually meant.
I’m not laughing.  I cracked a smile but nothing more.  Typing H then A or E is a lot easier than typing a coherent sentence.  Learn the Haha’s below.

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What I said.
Umm, I’ll see you tomorrow.

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What I actually meant.
I probably won’t.  My mattress is too comfortable to move a foot away from it.  Spent almost a thousand on this bed including my lovely pillows.  I want to make sure it’s safe.  I’m not going anywhere.

What I said.
There’s someone on the other line.  I’ll get back to you.

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What I actually meant.
I don’t want to talk to anymore.  This meaningless conversation has yielded absolutely nothing.  I rather watch paint dry or watch C-SPAN.  There’s a 50% chance of rain and a 20% chance of a call back.

What I said.
I’m going to bed now.

mebed

What I actually meant.
I can’t stand today as we know it.  The thought of coexisting makes me nauseous and I just rather not look, feel, taste, smell, or see anything that has to do with living.  I’ll be back in 8 hours. Oh, leave me alone and turn down the tv.

What I said.
I’m going to sit in the back.

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What I actually meant.
If this meeting, program, movie is boring at least I can make a quick exit without being seen.  I don’t want to be here in the first place.  Also if there’s mass confusion at least I’m first to the exit.  I’m going to see tomorrow no matter the circumstances.

What I said.
Can you pass the salt?

What I actually meant.
Cardboard tastes better.  What is this drab, tasteless mess on my plate? This unappetizing, less than an entree lacks the one quality food should have; flavor.

What I said.
What is your name?

What I actually meant.
Yes, I want to know your name please.

What I said.
Good night Facebook I’m going to bed.

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What I actually meant.
I’m staying up until 2am.  Going incognito and turning chat off so I can creep Facebook profiles and not be bothered.

What I said via text.
Call me

What I actually meant.
The ball is in your court.  Instead of picking up the phone and calling you I have shifted responsibility so if this conversation doesn’t materialize it’s your fault.  Texting you was so much easier.

What I said.
Can I have a water?

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What I actually meant.
Don’t ask me if I want a refill of Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, or Dr. Pepper.  I originally asked for water and I’m sticking with it.

What I said.
I like your purse.

What I actually meant.
How did you afford that?  We work the same job, same salary.  You must be dating someone on the down-low.  Maybe one day I can ask her to borrow it and hopefully she forgets it’s in my possession.

What I did on Facebook.
I poked you on Facebook.

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What poking on Facebook actually means.
There’s somewhat of an attraction but I don’t know how to formally express it.  It’s more than platonic at this point.  This one button keeps me engaged but at a safe distance.  Aside from being in a relationship I can draw attention to the fact that I’m into you without physically cheating on my significant other.  It’s a win win situation.  Occasionally poking on Facebook lets me act young and live free without the consequences or embarrassment of admitting you’re plan B or C if A fails.

What I said.
I’m in a relationship.

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What I actually meant.
You are not physically attractive.  You have my permission to leave me alone.  Whether I’m lying or not at least this will hopefully end this encounter for good.

What I said.
Nice ride man.

What I actually meant.
Are you a drug dealer?  I’ve never known you as the working type.  You have nice things but when I do a Google search for your employer it doesn’t exist.  I wish that car was mine.

What I said.
No cheese please.

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What I actually meant.
I meant absolutely no cheese as previously stated.  I don’t want some or a little.  Universally no cheese means no cheese.  I don’t need to be reassured of what I don’t want. This is a public statement and verbal request to not include cheese or anything that starts with C and H on my food that I am about to purchase.

What I said.
You have beautiful eyes.

What I actually meant.
You’re so fine.  You single?  I’m too afraid to ask.

What I said/typed.
I’m just sayin’/ijs

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What I actually meant.
Go sit down.  I’ve never read or heard anything so dumb in my entire existence.  How dumb can you be should not be accepted as a challenge.  My rebuttal is supported by history, experience, and cold hard facts so next time please do your research before you talk or type.  I was right from the beginning and you know this.

 

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What I Said vs. What I Actually Meant…And Meaning of Facebook Poke

What I said vs. What I actually meant.  There’s always a deeper meaning to words and acronyms.  Stay informed! What I said. LOL What I actually meant. I have absolutely nothing to say in response.  What you said is mildly amusing to me.  I want to assure you of our friendship and my response is […]