First, I’m no moron but I’ll start with these time of people. They roam the halls of our social media with little or no sanctions. Facebook is an open forum and dialog for people to share what’s going on, what they are feeling, and generally a place to plaster your life photos right? Among the many of us who do the typical browsing are those people who take advantage of being an utter moron courtesy of Mr. Keyboard and Mouse. Otherwise normal people turn into complete morons when they post online. Why? Because (yes I started a sentence with because) it’s easy to be an asshole behind the guise of a computer screen sitting thousands of miles away from another person. There is no punishment for those who spread filthy lies and nonsensical garbage. Instead of answering a question or giving constructive criticism they litter the Facebook community with stupid comments with zero meaning and negative merit. The average Facebook moron wouldn’t act the same way in your face as they would online. I call this bitchassness!
For example, I have many acquaintances on Facebook who have a level head, they paid their taxes, and we share many commonalities, but when they post online they warp into another character. Their demeanor is downright appalling and at times disguising. I on the other hand am the same way offline and I am online; honest and to the point. People seem more masculine online and more poise when you talk to them at a party or function. These same people love to correct spelling, punctuality when we all get the point. I guess sitting in the comfort of your living room or bedroom entitles people to change sexes, change personalities on the fly. It’s called being fake. Go take a jog and be productive.
Second, there’s a second-class moron who feels posting their most intimate emotions will somehow fix their twisted situation. I can these people cry-babies. They groan, moan, and spew their woe-is-me attitude on Facebook expecting sympathy from their friends and the world. For example, “I absolutely hate my boyfriend, he cheated on me and I’m never going back to him. When he cheated on me I gave him a second chance and now I’m pregnant with his twins.” Are you serious? Another example, “I’m lonely and crying please help me Lord.” Are you serious? These self-centered egotistical posts are nothing more than a horrible alternative to drinking your problems away. Why do people feel it’s necessary to post their lowest moments for the world to see as if their middle-aged friends have a solution. Facebook is not a therapist, psychologist, or your mom. If your life is in the dumps that bad, how did you muster enough courage to turn on your computer/pick up your phone, logon and rant? The vast majority of your friends exist within their won bubbles and their Facebook responses only offer a temporary band-aid; not a solution. Please note, we don’t care about your miserable relationships, your depressive state, or your financial situation. Take time off and get some professional help before you chase your tail like a dog.
Lastly, the next type of Facebooker is the picture whore. What do I mean? With the advent of higher megapixel cameras on cellphones and the ability to share instantly people think they are supermodels. We’ve all seen the endless photos of our friends with their shirts off, posing by the pool, and the 54 unnecessary photos of their smile in the bathroom mirror. NEWSFLASH…NEWSFLASH…YOU’RE NOT THAT CUTE…You get a C+ in the looks department! Dudes are even better picture whores than their female counterparts. Side-note, if you don’t have muscles don’t act like you do. A flat stomach isn’t a 6 pack, it’s just a flat stomach. Also not every girl wants you. We live in a narcissistic society where people feel it’s necessary to be in front of the camera at all cost. Please don’t misconstrue my point because photos are timeless but a litany of self-portraits just screams…”Look at me, I’m insecure so please let me drown you in an endless stream of pictures despite the fact I’m a 5 out of 10 in the looks department.” You’re average looking so get over it. So lets recap, photos are great, only baby photos are cute, and real models don’t need Facebook.